Welcome to another installment of B Movie Monday, where I watch a low budget film and tell you all about it. These posts will contain spoilers, so if you think you might want to watch the movie without knowing what happens, quit reading now.
Watched on: Vudu
Duration: 1 hour 21 minutes
Directed by: Brian K. Williams
Starring: Ellie Church, Brian Papandrea and Allison Maier
Please see IMDb for full cast and crew information.
Synopsis
From the depths of the infinite space, the sexy female humanoids--Carrieola, Vanassa, and Ragyna--find themselves stranded on the little blue planet called Earth. With their hideous arch-enemies, the Scrotes, hot on their trail, and their spacecraft low on sexual energy, the curious girls will have to trust the kind farm boy, Charlie, who knows how to help them. Now, the unlimited force stemming from the sexually charged local strip club is the only way to refuel the spaceship; however, what happens if the innocent earthling falls for one of the intergalactic visitors? Will the babes from outer space ever return home?
Review
As I've been scrolling Vudu for my B movies each week, I keep passing over any that seem overly sexual because I've been watching them in the middle of the day in shared space in our house, and have a 13 year old and 11 year old that do not need to know that they have access to those kinds of movies. This week I chose to curl up in bed with the door closed so I could dive into one of them.
This movie was hilarious. It was basically The Princess Bride mixed with Spaceballs as soft core porn. The movie starts with a kid's mom getting ready for work, obviously at a strip club based on the way she's dressed (and I'm not judging that, she was a very sexy pirate). They live with her father, and he's left in charge of the kid's bedtime story. The story he chooses is about the space babes, who fly around the universe in a boob shaped spaceship, trying to avoid the Scrotes, which is apparently what men turn into when they get hungry. You get to see the first real boob of the movie during the opening credits.
You can tell the movie is low budget because the inside of the spaceship is composed of an aluminum foil command station, and the dial that shows the ship's energy level is literally a colored piece of cardboard. Of course the ship is equipped with a "Do not ever use this button" button, that the babes use in a desperate attempt to avoid a couple Scrotes, which lands them near Earth, dangerously low on energy. Luckily for them, there is a source of energy for the ship on Earth, they just need to harvest it. It's men's sexual energy, or boners.
Most of the rest of the movie takes place in a strip club, so we get to see lots of boobs and butts. Two of the babes are immediately hired on as strippers, and they are horrible at it. You wouldn't know that from watching the audience's reaction, but they were so bad. While they're on stage, the third babe is getting to know Charlie, and it's a serious love connection. He wants to have sex with her, but she's gotta' meet the family first. So that happens over a chicken nugget and turkey dinner complete with a sitcom style laugh track. Chicken nuggets play a huge role in this movie.
While Charlie and Carrieola are at dinner and having sex in the barn, the Scrotes have found Vanassa and Ragyna at the strip club and eaten a couple of strippers. You know how you defeat a Scrote? Visual overstimulation. So the space babes gather ALL the strippers on stage where they commence boob bouncing, slow boob bouncing. The Scrotes die by erupting like a blood and pus filled volcano, almost like some of the really gnarly cysts the Pimple Popper features.
This is a movie that I would absolutely watch again and again. It's bad, but it's bad in such a great way, like Killer Klowns from Outer Space bad. It's so bad it's funny. Plus the actress who plays Carrieola reminds me of Baby Spice which just added another level of humor for me. This is a B movie that I would 100% recommend, just don't watch it with your kids because there's so many boobs.
Favorite Quote
"I think we'd have a lot better luck if you were in my vagina instead of my belly button."
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