Tuesday, October 10, 2017

*Review* There is No F*cking Secret by Kelly Osbourne

Genre: Memoir
Published: April 25, 2017
Pages: 244

People ask Kelly Osbourne all the time: "What's your secret?" 

Kelly Osbourne may not always have been a typical role model, but no one can say that her perspective isn't hard won after spending three decades in the spotlight: from growing up completely exposed to the heavy metal scene--replete with crazy antics most readers have only begun to hear about--to spending her teenage years as the wild middle child of an even wilder Ozzy Osbourne, to the family's popular stint on their wacky eponymous reality show. Since then, Osbourne has forged her own path as a style icon and powerful woman in the media who isn't afraid to tell it like it is and be honest with her fans. But being the daughter of a music legend hasn't always been glamorous; growing up Osbourne is an experience that Kelly wouldn't trade, but there are battle scars, and she is finally now ready to embrace and reveal their origins.

Told as a series of letters to various people and places in her life, There Is No F*cking Secret gives readers an intimate look at the stories and influences that have shaped Osbourne's highly speculated-about life, for better or for worse. The stories will make readers' jaws drop, but ultimately, they will come away empowered to forge their own path to confidence, no matter how deranged and out of control it may be, and to learn the ultimate lesson: that there just is no f*cking secret.

I was both iffy and curious about reading this… I’d actually put a hold on it on overdrive but kept returning it because I couldn’t decide whether or not I actually wanted to read it. Spoiler alert: I totally read it. Which is why I’m writing this review. I know… pretty shocking.

Okay, so I was a sorta/kinda semi fan of hers when I was in high school. I’ve always been bad at watching television, but I did on purpose watch the Osbournes at least 10 times. Which is a whole lot for me, especially back in the days before Netflix. But there’s also drama she’s gotten herself involved with, and I wasn’t sure how or if she’d approach it. She does, btw.

This is told via letters that are written to important parts of her life, not just people. I thought that was pretty interesting. She gets into some detail about some pretty big topics like her drug addiction, family issues, her lyme disease and some controversial topics. I found most of what she had to say to be amusing, sometimes laugh out loud funny, so I did enjoy this. Although I did also mentally cringe at certain things.

The most important thing I took away from this was I totally said, “vagina” loudly in memory of Joan Rivers… and I wasn’t even a fan of the woman. But this book did show me a side of her that I could respect.

Out of everything in it, the thing I related to the most was the bit about her having lyme disease. Not that I have it, because I don’t. But I understand being in constant pain and nobody believing it’s valid. Even my 6 year old is a traitor, and recently said to me, “Your back always hurts. You were born with it. Deal with it.” Punk ass kid.

I still think she’s entitled and I disagree with her on many things, but mostly I found it refreshing to see how much she’s matured. Also, very important to note, I learned the difference between crack and coke while reading this… although I’ve already forgotten which is which. But for a brief moment of my life I knew which was the rich person drug and which was for poor people. And she totally has never touched the poor people drug.

3.2 and 1/5ths Platypires - Joood - Hooligan

Kelly Osbourne is a television personality, host, fashion designer, singer and actress. She first came to prominence while appearing on the Emmy Award-winning reality series The Osbournes with her family from 2002-2005. Since then, Osbourne co-hosted E!’s hit show Fashion Police and was frequently found on the red carpet as one of E!’s Fashion Correspondents. She has also appeared on Dancing with the Stars and guest-starred on various other television shows. A collection of M*A*C Cosmetics co-created with her mother, Sharon, debuted in 2014. She has also designed Stories…By Kelly Osbourne, her first ready-to-wear fashion line with sizes from 0-24. Osbourne was also recently a judge on Australia’s Got Talent and can be seen on the judging panel for Project Runway: Junior.

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