Tuesday, May 24, 2016

*Joood's Reviews* Winter by Marissa Meyer

You may or may not know this already, but Joood - Hooligan of Platypire Reviews is notoriously bad at writing reviews after she finishes reading books. I'm serious, her to be reviewed list is almost as long as my Platypire Read-A-Thon list, and that thing is monstrous. So after much cajoling on Joood's part, I have decided to help her out and once a week I'm going to write one of her reviews for her because I'm a good friend like that, and there is no way this could possibly go wrong. I will be writing the reviews as if I actually am Joood.

For this weeks selection I have chosen Winter by Marissa Meyer.

Genre: YA/Fantasy
Published: November 10, 2015
Pages: 824


Princess Winter is admired by the Lunar people for her grace and kindness, and despite the scars that mar her face, her beauty is said to be even more breathtaking than that of her stepmother, Queen Levana.

Winter despises her stepmother, and knows Levana won’t approve of her feelings for her childhood friend—the handsome palace guard, Jacin. But Winter isn’t as weak as Levana believes her to be and she’s been undermining her stepmother’s wishes for years. Together with the cyborg mechanic, Cinder, and her allies, Winter might even have the power to launch a revolution and win a war that’s been raging for far too long.

Can Cinder, Scarlet, Cress, and Winter defeat Levana and find their happily ever afters?

Several of the other Platypire's have also read this book, so I decided in lieu of a review, I'd post a discussion we had of the book. The Platypires helping me to opinionate on Winter are Sofia the GreatBekah the AwesomePlatypire Maribel, and Platypire Bob. (Be sure to follow the links to give their pages a gander and a like.) 

First question - How long did it take you to figure out what fairytale Winter is based on?
Bekah - Uh, about 15 seconds.
Sofia - I figured it out at the end of book 3. It was pretty obvious. 
Joood - Really? I was on page 323 when I figured it out. 
Bekah - Did you even look at the cover Joood?
Sofia - Or read the blurb?
Joood -
Maribel - These books are based on fairytales? Are you sure?
Bob - I knew once I saw the cover. 

Second question - What did you think of the diversity in the series?
Maribel - Diversity is AWESOME!
Joood - I thought the diversity was okay, but it definitely needed more platypires. 
Bekah - I felt like she was on a mission to get every flavor person in there.
Sofia - I feel, without her saying it, that the author had an underlying message that black is beautiful by making Winter the most beautiful girl in the whole universe.
Joood - That's a good point. You're so smart Sofia.
Sofia - Well science has proven that people who eat chocolate chip cookies are smarter than people who don't. 

Third question - Who was your favorite character in this book?
Bob - Jacin Clay because he loves Winter SO HARD. It's adorable!
Maribel - Wolf. Cuz, RAWR!
Bekah - Cinder is hands down the heroine of this series. This book is no exception.
Joood - I really related to Levana, probably because you guys are always trying to overthrow me.
Bob - I don't know what you're talking about. We would do no such thing. 
Bekah - It's not our fault your leadership is lacking sometimes. 
Sofia - Cinder, because Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney princess. 

Fourth question - How much sleep did you lose while reading this book?
Bekah - I slept just fine. It's work that I had a problem doing. #Priorities
Maribel - All of it, I lost all of the sleep. #SleepIsForTheWeak
Sofia - Lots. Lots and lots of sleep was lost while reading this book. 
Joood - I read super fast because I taught myself how to speed read as a teenager, so I barely lost any sleep at all. 
Bob - How many times are you going to remind us that you're a speed reader? #WeAlreadyKnow #YouveToldUsAMillionTimes
Joood - It was pertinent to the question.
Bekah - You probably only asked the question so that you could answer it like that. 
Joood - Lies and slander!

Fifth question - Where do you think the characters end up in 5 years?
Joood - Living in a van down by the river.
Bekah - Happily ever after because they fucking deserve it! Also, wherever they damn well please, these characters are fierce as junk!!
Sofia - Making the world and moon a better place.
Maribel - I think Levana will be dead. 
Joood - Why would you say that to me? And right after I said I related to Levana. What are you really trying to say here?
Bob - I think Joood might be on to us guys. Abort mission. 

Sixth question - How did your family survive while you were inaccessible reading this book?
Bob - I have no idea. Everyone was here and fine, and I was going to read one chapter of Cinder before bed, and now, I've just finished Winter, and the house is empty... All the furniture is gone, and I've just realized its me, my kindle, and my pillow... This must be what freedom feels like.
Sofia - They didn't survive. They ate ramen soup and crackers until they died. 
Bekah - I don't know how to cook, so it was just another day in our house.
Joood - Like I said before, I'm a speed reader, so they didn't have that long to survive without me. Also, my husband does the cooking. 
Maribel - Now that you mention it, I smell smoke. 

Seventh question - Did you remember to bathe while reading this book?
Joood - I'm still on a bathing strike from almost drowning that one time a couple weeks ago, so it's not that I didn't remember to bathe. I consciously chose not to.
Sofia - I read while bathing, so take that!!!
Bekah - Personal hygiene is for the weak!
Maribel - I started reading this in the tub. So yes, I've been bathing all weekend. Though, I'm quite wrinkly now....
Joood - Oh sure, rub it in my face guys that you can bathe without almost drowning. I don't know why I keep you hoodlums around.
Maribel - Because you love us. Also I make the graphics.
Bob - I have some willpower, thank you very much.

Eighth question - Do you think the book should have been longer than 800 pages?
Maribel - 800 pages is way too short. I felt like the entire plot was rushed and it felt short.
Bob - Technically, it's 826 pages, and that was the perfect length, because this was the perfect book.
Sofia The book is basically two books in one. Therefore everybody should read it cause it's cost effective. Any longer and it would have been 3 books in one and the author only got paid for one book. Actually, the author got kinda screwed with Winter. She should have held out for more. BTW if they make Winter into a movie. I'm perfectly fine with it being 9 hours.
Bekah - Yes! Absolutely! 800 pages is not nearly enough.
Joood - Definitely. 800 page books are so puny. With my speed reading skills they hardly take any time at all to read.
Bob - She's never going to shut up about the speed reading is she?
Bekah - Probably not. Just be glad you don't live near her. I hear about it almost every time I see her too.
Sofia - I've been thinking about moving because of it.
Maribel - Chicago is nice, and far from Texas.

Ninth question - Do you think there should be more books?
Sofia - Now there should be more books. We need Jasmine from Aladdin, Beauty from Beauty and the beast, and Ariel from little mermaid.
Added bonus points, Mulan.
Bob - Nah, it actually ended at a beautiful spot, and I think the author probably wants to move on with her life. The series was amazing, but we can't live in it forever.
Bekah - Yes. All the more books. 295969503922 more books. Kill this series till I can't stand it. I NEED MOAR.
Maribel - I could go either way. If she writes more books, I'd read them, but I'm fine with it ending here.
Joood - I will kidnap Marissa Meyer and hobble her and force to her write more books until I am satisfied with the series all Misery style.
Sofia - Joood, we've talked about this. That's illegal and you would go to jail.
Joood - But I do what I want!!!

Tenth question- What would you rate Winter?
Bob - 1 platypire
Maribel - 1 platypire
Joood - 2 platypires
Bekah - 3 platypires
Sofia - 5 platypires


  1. I am actually a put off at how much this actually sounds like me... and yet it doesn't.

  2. I am actually a put off at how much this actually sounds like me... and yet it doesn't.

  3. FYI, Katie, for future reference, RAWR belongs to Bekah :P

    1. Bekah actually provided that response along with the one attributed to her. The rawr seemed to fit better with the other answers from you though. - Katie